FASHION : Ankara Night!

                 Hey gentlemen and gentlemen in skirts (as there are no ladies at the bar), welcome to a new and refreshing session, which promises to be fun and eventful for us all, as the first official social event of the faculty is taking place soon... 

Uhm... I'm reading somebody's mind now and I'm pretty sure I heard it yelling... ANKARA NIIIIIGHT!!!...

 And guess what honey? You are damn right... 

The 2012/2013 cultural&ankara night is scheduled to hold on the 30th November,2012.

 Although this has been one with subsequent conventional methodology and concept, this year's cultural night promises to be a lock down. As in tight... And one to remember, and this isn't just hyping oh... 

My fellow LSSites, its the real deal, and its gonna be mad funnn!!!

 They say law students are all about book book book, but WE know that ain't true... Its all yimz (yimu).

                Well, well well, the reason for the capital 'WE' is to emphasize the fact that we're all in this together. Not I, not u, not Jatalah or Shehu but 'WE' LSSites all have to work together to make this a huge success as I presume we all wish! 

And this can happen by subscribing to the whole plan by purchasing your own ankara from the LSS secretariat, at the rate of #1000 only (which comes with the ticket), and proceeding to your tailor's place.... Which brings us to the prima facie of the whole talk... 

You better dress to kill oh... Or be ready to get SHOT... Yes SHOT by the inescapable cameras of the LSS fashion police team which will in full force be present there!!!

 Make sure u don't get busted cuz if u do *lips sealed*, lemme rest my case... 

              The blog will shortly be displaying.some designs for you ladies and some fashion ideas... Courtesy 'House of splendour'....

 So we gonna keep you posted!!! Make sure you stay glued to the blog (our very own)! And once again I also implore  both Fresh and returning students to be a part of this experience, cuz we don't wanna 'fall our hands na'...Uhmm.. I should  share some designs of dresses with you, but I'll advice that you don't forget to come with your dancing shoes... If u don't wanna be dulling!!! So lemme leave u guys for now oh... See ya in camera... Toodles ;)

LSS ANKARA NIGHT!!! ANTICIPATE!!! ( Read and Win free tickets and ankara)

*Enters blog with goody bag* :D

      Yes, yes ya’ll! It’s Yemi again.. *sips Maltina*… It’s been ages  mahn! I mean it’s been like over a month and that. I really don’t know how to start apologising but I must say that I’m so sorry for the long ‘break in transmission’. School work has been so hectic and so we haven’t been able to post a lot on the blog lately. However, we back now to serve you all better..

And what is this I’m hearing about some LSSites not knowing about this blog? Hian? Are you a learner? (razz boy sweg x_x)! *sighs*

Anyways, that’s not the issue at hand. The ‘trending topic’ in and out of the faculty now is the Law Student Society’s (unilorin) Cultural&Ankara Night. There has been so much anticipation and trust me it’s gonna be the best of its kind in the school. 

Check this out.. 

It’s gonna feature the guest appearances of some major icons from Nollywood. 

I’m talking about the likes of Kunle Afolayan, Funsho Adeolu, Ibraheem Chatta, Jide Kosoko, Hafiz Oyetoro, Muyiwa Ademola , and of course Yeye Toyin Adegbola (Asewo toh re Mecca).

This year’s cultural night actually is in Honor of the one and only Kunle Afolayan (Figurine). 

And with Jide Kosoko as the father of the day, you know its mos def gonna be on point. 

Hafiz Oyetoro (inspector saka) as the guest speaker, you know we all gonna be rolling on the floor laughing out loud.

To be a part of this, all you gotta do is buy your Ankara (3yards), which goes for just 1000 Naira, (this comes with the ticket which is worth 500Naira). 

You could also go for the ticket only which would cost you just 500 Naira but when the day comes and you feel all left out because you are the only one not ‘rocking’ the fresh Lss Ankara, don’t say I didn't tell yah o.

        However, for folks who don’t love to spend (start catching your sub) and you are lucky to open this link, I congratulate you because ‘KnytSparxx’ have decided to throw in some free tickets. Actually, they have this to say; “

·       

               “1st 10 people to buy tickets will get a 50% discount”

·         Download KnytSparxx's music and stand a chance to be one of the 5 people to get Ankara and a Ticket   free.

Requirements for the free Ankara and tickets:

·         To redeem the prize, the person must have both songs on his or her phone, "Never let u go" and "Got it Good"

·          The person will pick his or her favorite out of both songs and sing the chorus to the song”…..

And here are the links to the song: 

“Never let u go”

* 4shared : http://www.4shared.com/mp3/koU2cm6v/Never_let_u_GO.html[url]

*Hulkshare : http://www.hulkshare.com/9k4eezfncst

 *”Got it Good” :  http://hu.lk/ipfach3mrhmo[/url] “

WOW!!! Can you imagine? That’s all you gotta do to be a part of this great show for free..

oya start downloading na na !! hehe!.

And yes of course, our sponsors such as MTN Nigeria, JokeyMoore, House of Tara, NBC,and several others have agreed to throw in all sorts of freebies and you even stand the chance of winning massive prizes and gifts courtesy MTN Nigeria. All you gotta do is get your ticket and be present. It is as simple as that. 

The venue is the Performing Arts Theatre of in the University of Ilorin.

Artists performing there are; KnytSparxx, Monalisa (Monalee,) and several others (lips sealed till that day)…

We also have the undisputed performing arts students of unilorin showcasing what they've got for the world to see.

          See, if I don’t stop now I don’t think I’ll ever stop cos there are just too many things going down on the 30^th of November 2012 in the unilorin PFA theatre.

For enquiries and bookings, you can get in touch with the following people; 

*Shehu Popson : 08032477496,,, BBM: 237EDB30

*Yemi(Me) : 08108678863,,,BBM : 30C385D9

*ELA Unilorin FM (LSS PRO) : BBM: 271f95d0

* Halima : BBM :22FC87D6..

        

          And of course, if you are present at the event, you will have the opportunity of seeing me dance live under the stage.*hehehehehe* *dodges several slaps*.. If you like, call that ‘Self wash’. *tongue out*…

And lest i forget, that of course is the beautiful Ankara that has been picked for the event.

I have to go now mehn! Omo boy get ‘Conflict Of law’ assignment to do.. :D..

I must confess its was really nice doing this after a long time! :D
Cash you all lerra! Pizz out!

Word To The Freshers.

           The fresher in his first months in the university is more comfortable than a stalite. Though he might not yet know his way around the school and his dressing might be a little odd his steps a little unsure, his gestures a little nervous. He still enjoys life more than a stalite does. At least in the first few months. You know why?

          One, his grade points is comfortably sitting at zero point. No failure, no passes, no worries.

         Two, he has the privilege of being treated and courted like a newly wedded bride. Or a newly wooed girlfriend.

If he is a Christian, CLASFON would want him to be a member. If he is a Muslim NAMLAS would be all over him. And if he is neither, the secularists would get to him as long as the Tods are on his feet, his G-Shock and ray bans are real and his white is whiter than most.

Do I need to mention that those seeking political office in the next semester would start forming familiarity or that the chambers would be scouting for members each touting their chamber as the best.

But the fresher need not worry about all these ‘sincere’ welcoming treatments because in the end all will play to his advantage or rather to the advantage of his belly. You see, these guys will organise freshers picnic, fresher’s orientation programs, fresher’s welcoming parties and all of these fresher’s whatnots and the surest thing in all of these programs is the presence of item seven. As in, the item seven.  At this point, one might point out the laughable packaging or is it ‘palckaging’ of freshers. During these programs, when the item seven have been served, some guys go start to dey form like ‘I don’t want to look hungry’, ‘I don’t want to eat first’. So then go start dey look right, look left. Looking for anybody who has managed to start. But since everybody is watching everybody else, no one would start eating. Meanwhile, the program continues. Stomachs starts rumbling and concentration is lost. As soon as a guy (never a girl; girls are more palckaged) summons the courage to break the ice and sink his teeth into the inviting item, the whole lot would follow suit. An advice for the freshers; if you find yourself in one of these programs, please do not hesitate to attack the items as soon as they are placed in front of you find you. You see, the organisers of the programs want you to come and that is why they promised item seven because, seriously most people wont bother to come without that promise. And since you’ve blessed them with your presence, so you have the right to eat like a licensed plague.

         Three, the fresher has an idealistic view of school. Because he has not sustained any scars, emotional, physical or academic he thinks the university would be paradise, especially when you are in one of the best universities in Nigeria. And why wouldn’t he think so?  After all he is hard working and his I.Q is off charts. In fact, he would give Einstein a run for his money, and the issue of falling grades does not just come up in his mind. His social skills are superb. He can make friends within minutes and have ladies eating from his palm in no time. In short, he is James Bond.

But hello fresher, ever heard of little something called social stratification? Now what is class stratification?

According to the faculty of law invincible dictionary 2012 edition, class stratification simply a situation where some guys decide to form a group because of the things they have and prevent others from joining the group because of the things they don’t have. Put simply, it means if you are still wearing Toms instead of Tods, you do not belong to the elite group. Put more simply, it means if your blackberry is not Bold5/6 or you do not own an Iphone4/5, you do not belong to the group. If you are a still using Nokia, then don’t even think about it. Put very simply, it means if you are not swaggisly Burna Boy who likes to fall off the stage, sorry, party, then you do not belong to the group. Forget about academic prowess, it wont get you inside this group and group and it wont get the girl. Your academics cant save you, life starts where your grade point ends.

        After having said all of these however, kudos must be given to our fresher ladies. They’ve packaged themselves so well that one of my guys came to me one day and said “chai,  these fresh babes would be the death of me o”, to which I replied “you know what, I will be glad to come to your funeral”.

Law student society (unilorin) cordially invites you to her annual public lecture ...

THEME: Law As A Springboard For National Peace And Security.....
GUEST SPEAKER: Mr Wemimo ogunde SAN
CHAIRMAN  OF THE OCCASION: Mallam Yusuf O.Ali SAN
DATE: 7th November 2012
VENUE : Engineering lecture theatre, unilorin.

Its another opportunity for a knowledge imparting proram.....
You definitely don't want to miss it!!!

ANNOUNCEMENT

Hey there, Been a minute We posted something up in here, its cuz W e are planning to service Y'all better (Pardon my Informality). But if on this note, We wish to inform everybody that You can have Your articles on This Blog.
POEMS
NEWS
STORIES
You can send anything You think is worth Posting to ---> (lssblog2012@gmail..com)
Or You can holla at ---> @YemzDgogeta_YMC

UP CLOSE & PERSONAL

  Hey Folks, what's up?? I know its been a while ya'll heard from me personally. LOOL. Guess what, I'm back and better..
This is the first episode on the column 'Up, close and personal'.. I know you've all been waiting for this one. And trust me, the wait was definitely worth it.

I went all the way to get an interview with the one and only FUNBI of IMG.
It wasn't easy(*wipes away sweat*) . And yeah!, you read that right. FUNBI...


   ENJOY.........
---------
Yemi: What's going on boss?

Funbi: I'm chilled mehn. In the studio at the moment.  Tryna work on new materials

Yemi: Oh! That's really cool.. Could you share with us what the new tune is about?
Funbi: I just got in so we're just kinda bumping beats and ideas

Yemi: Hmmm..cool..can't wait..
Lets get to know you.
What's your real name?

Funbi: Funbi Emiola

Yemi: So Mr Emiola, How was it like growing up?

Funbi: Born and raised in ilorin. My dad's a professor so I was all about the books really. Only chance I used to get to sing was in the church choir. It was fun really, growing up in ilorin.

Yemi: Wow!!! ILLY Born!! That's surprising!! But now, you don run go gidi na..haha! And u read a lot? I guess that influenced your poetry! Because I read somewhere that you also write poems..

Funbi: Yeah. its been a while I wrote poems though. Lol. I started writing because of a babe that I was tripping for lol. The poems later on developed into writing songs.

Yemi: You started because of a babe you had a crush on???hahahaha! That's so funny!!! Well, I'd like to say that the poetry you started with sure has a super-positive  impact on your lyrics today.
When did your start music?and what inspired you ?

Funbi: Thanks bruv!
I've been singing since I was a kid in the choir. Christmas carol and stuff. Used to love doing solos. Never really took music seriously till I was in high school "lifeforte int high school". My friend told me I should consider it and since then its been all that's on my mind.
Yemi: So your first recording was in high school?

Funbi: Yeah. My dad paid for my first studio session. The song wasn't that great though .lol. but for starters, we did okay.
Yemi: Wow!! Your Dad did that??
So your parents are totally cool with you doing music?

Funbi: Yeah they are, but they were primarily concerned about my academics. Tryna make sure it dint bring my grades down.


Yemi: Oh..cool..Your parents are cool like that! Lol.

Funbi: Yezzir!

Yemi: Share with us your Major collaborations.

Funbi: First project I was on was "make it better" from the knighthouse street scriptures. It had ice prince, mo'cheddah, myself, and mobie.
Worked with ice prince again on my first official single "superstar" alongside loose kaynon.
Worked with 2shotz, rugged man.
I was on MI's illegal music2. Was super excited to be on it thanks to the incredible Mr.

Yemi: Oh boy!! You sure have done some major collaboration o! I respect yah! So many known artists!
Which of these artists did u enjoy working with the most?

Funbi: Hmm I can't really say though. Its always mad fun for me when I'm recording.

Yemi: Hehe!  Must be pretty interesting being an artist then.
Have you got any album out yet? And videos too?
Funbi: Nah! No album yet but I'm working on one. I have one video out "clockwork". And there's a video for the song I did with 2shotz "damn".
Yemi: Oshey!! We can't wait for your album o!
So what's up with IMG? Is that your record label?
Funbi: Yeah bruv iMG representing.

Yemi: What's the full meaning sire?

Funbi: Imperial music group

Yemi: Na so! Shout Out to the Entire IMG crew!!
You were doing music even back when you were schooling at C.U right?
How were you able to balance music with schooling?

Funbi: Yeah man.
It wasn't easy tho
Cuz I studied architecture and in a manner of speaking its one of the toughest and time consuming course.

Yemi: Mehn! That must have been pretty tough! You must be really smart then. I mean, you combining both?...

Funbi: Took a lot of discipline.
Once I'm in school, I'm in school and any chance I get to leave school I try as much as possible to get something done with music. I made it work for me.
Lool I hope so.

Yemi: Discipline is the key! I respect that in you.. Let's get a little more personal..LOOL..
What's your Relationship status? Single, Double, triple? Or you just playing them shawties??:>

Funbi: Lool I'm single bruv. I dnt know bout playing shawties o! :x
That's jst a trap. I'm gonna keep it simple. Lool if they want sha :]Y I don't bite

Yemi:
Ah!!! I fear you o! Abi you be 'freelance' ..hehe.. I no trust you!! So I guess all you pretty ladies reading this now can start sending in their applications ;). Hehe
Yemi:
Trap ke??haha..I'm a lawyer in the making o.. I no dey blackmail..
Funbi: No I mean trapping myself girl wise

Yemi: Hehehe!! Na wa.. So As a fine boy and an artist, how do u handle all the attention from them pretty ladies?
Funbi: Lol. well I can't complain. I love the ladies (:D) as many that know me. I treat them with love and respect and the ladies are pretty much the entire market for a singer like me so the more that come the better :D.

Yemi: LOOOL! Na so.. Me too wan be celeb o!! ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ ) ess nor good ooo :'(.

Funbi: Lol

Yemi: What do you look for in a woman?

Funbi: Ah! Jamb question.
If I start we won't finish lol.
Aight let me try.
Actually, I'm good with a decent, respectable, smart and good looking lady.
I just tried to give the summary lol

Yemi: Jamb question??hehehe..why evils...
As an artist, what's your Most embarrassing moment?

Funbi: Erm.. I'm not sure I've had that yet, but there was a time I was performing and I had a cold. I just couldn't hit the notes I recorded on. I had to get off stage early.
Oh yeah and there was this time in school that I was tryna run and I fell flat on my face. Tried to get up and fell again lool there were a lot of people around at the time.

Yemi: Oh my!! The second part is totally funny. .LOOOOOOOOL! I wish I was there! I would have be rolling on the floor laughing. =)).
Must have been really embarrassing tho. Sorry about that.

Funbi: Lol its nuffin
Yemi: What's your Most memorable moment as an artist so far?

Funbi: I'm nt really sure bout that one o. I've had a few moments of excitement though like my first studio session, the first time I heard myself on radio, meeting MI for the first time. I'm a big fan of his work.

Yemi: Oh!! Hehe!! Cool..
How about this? What's the craziest thing you have ever done for money?:>

Funbi: I've never been to the point that I'd craze for money and pray never to get to that point. So nothing crazy for me by God's grace I've always been comfortable

Yemi: Hmm..cool..hehe.. 
What's the craziest thing you did as a student?

Funbi: You know I was in CU so there wasn't really the chance to do crazy things the best you'll get is running from security lol sikena.

Yemi: LOOOL! But I thought CU peeps love adventures and all that..

Funbi: Adventures out of school.

Yemi: So let's round things up sir!
Which of your works should we watch out for?

Funbi: I ought to put out a single off a collabo album I'm working out with producer Hcode this month called "cousin".

Yemi: Wow!! So readers!! Ya'll heard that! You better go cop that.. Ya'll Should watch out for Funbi's 'Cousin' this month.. Personally, I can't wait to Jam that track..hehe..

Funbi: Funbi and hcode.
Much appreciated bruv! O:)
Yemi: Na so!!! H.Code is one Dope producer and you?? Always on point!! I believe Una die..hehe...
So Mr Funbi, Thanks a lot for your time on our Law Student Society social blog (Unilorin). We really appreciate . It was really nice inteviewing yah! Wish you all the best things in life. GGMUBB-)

Funbi: Thanks for having me on tuale! (y)
Amen o!!!!
God bless y'all

Yemi:
Amen oo!!
----------------------------------------------------

Alright people, that's it.. Haha.. Our exclusive interview with the one and only FUNBI of IMG.. Ya'll shoulg follow him on twitter @Funbimusic..

And do not! I repeat, Do not! miss the next episode.. Its gonna be another exclusive interview with SHIZZI , the in house producer of the HKN Gang(Davido's record label) right here on the LSS Social Blog..hehe.. Its gonna be life.. Best believe.. And till then,peace out!!!!!!!!!!

SERIAL MURDERRANCES. Episode 7

(Inception Pt. 3)

"You really are a great fool" I hissed angrily.
"Now where are the damn keys!?" 
        Immediately we entered I told Tade to put on the generator. When the power had come, we settled down to business, each engrossed in his laptop. I logged on to plentyoffish. I saw a woman who might make an easy target.
Alicia Warkins,34 ,no kid and living alone. "Hello Alicia, my name is Cody Smith". I try some small talk like who does she prefer between Obama and Romney, what is the weather in her city, blah, blah, blah. Now to the point. What is her source of income? She said she is an heiress of some small-town newspaper fortune. Wow, now that's what I call plenty of fish.
I'm a US diplomatic officer currently working in Helsinki, Finland. The city's prison is crawling with Americans so I was assigned to negotiate their release and transfer to the States with the prison authorities. These Finnish guys demand some dough as a fine for the freedom of these jailed Americans. Therefore the US embassy would welcome private dona- no, no, no, lemme stop there.
Don't want to ask for money right away lest she think I'm a 'scammer'.
Now onto more personal matters.
Doesn't she have a boyfriend?
No, she doesn't have right now. She has dated some guys before but they all turned out to be jerks. Eeya! But don't worry about me, I won't be a jerk. In fact, I've never been a jerk.
Why doesn't she have kids? She doesn't want to have kids wit just any bloke. She wants to have kids wit a special guy, someone who makes bell ring in her head, someone who makes butterflies flutter in her stomach, someone who will sweep her off her feet.
Look no further, Lady, I am the one. I've been looking for someone like you all my life. It's not everyday you meet someone who so understands you completely you feel you've known each other for a long time. And if you try me, you won't regret me.

She sent me a picture of herself and I complimented her on her looks even though she was bony thing and had like one thousand freckles on her face.
I sent her a 'picture of myself'- which was in fact an old picture of Brad Pitt's edited and 'photoshopped' to remove all resemblance(the jaws for example) but still l leaving all the good looks.
That picture was my standard picture. 

Just then, I heard a very loud noise above the din of the generator and the clicking of the keys on our laptops. I looked at Tade who was smiling down to his Laptop. He did not seem to hear. Before I shifted my eyes back to the laptop, I heard the noise again. The noise was louder now and Tade too was gaping into the distance. The noise sounded like someone was banging the door. We looked at each other. Nobody calls at our place at all much less this time of the night. The next loud bang roused us from our surprise and I called out
"Who the hell is that?"
'Good evening' a strong voice returned. 'This is the police. We have a warrant to search your premises'.
Having heard that Tade with all the silence his unco-ordinated body could muster, quickly packed the laptops and climbed the desk to put it in a designated place in d ceiling.
"A warrant to search this premises by 9pm? Officer, I don't think you know your law".
'Spare me the lecture on d proper time to serve a warrant', the officer shouted. 'This is a special case and either you open this door or I break it down. In any case I'm entering'.
The officer was sounding very serious. This is definitely not a joke or a prank call. Beside me, Tade was shaking like crazy. I have to be strong for this wimp. "Go pack the other laptops and throw them over the fence", I whispered. As Tade was about to go, the officer's voice came again 'In case you don't know, this building is surrounded. You have no choice but to OPEN THIS DOOR!'
We are now in a fix. I was now shaking my self, at my wit's end. The game look to be coming to an end.

'He won't wake' a voice said. I thought it was the officer who spoke but the voice was too close to my head to be the officer's.
'He won't wake', the voice said again, now a little frantic, a little panicky.
"Did you hear that?" I asked Tad.
'What? Yes I hear it. The officer dey shout make we open the door, shey you no dey hear am?, as loud as e be'.
"No, no," I whispered back. "The voice, that voice". 'Which voice?' Tade asked, a look of confusion on his face.
'OPEN THIS DOOR!'.
'He won't wake' the voice in my head was now filled with fear and with dread, a voice of someone afraid of what looks like inevitability.
Somehow, the voice sound like Barbie's. 'STAND BACK!, I'M BREAKING THIS DOOR!'
'O my god, he won't wake, Help! BRING WATER!' I saw the door buckled and crash. But I didn't see what I expected to find. I expected men in black uniforms with raised guns and heavy boots. Instead I saw a flood, a flood of water, water which was snow-white because of it's astonishing quantity, advancing towards me.
Before I could run, the water buried me and all went blank. I awoke on the floor of the corridoor, drenched in water, gasping for breath in Barbie's arms. I saw a shade of people peering down at me but I couldn't yet make out any of their faces. At last I made out Ridwan's thoroughly frightened face. I saw who had taken the picture, the phone was still in his hands. 'Thank God', they breathed collectively. 'You got us real scared'.
"How long was I out?" I drawled.
'About three minutes'. "What?" I exclaimed. It seems to me that I was out for three hours.
'We had to bring water from the buckets in the toilets to rouse you', somebody was saying. 'Took about five buckets'. 'C'mon' Barbie said. 'You sure need food, let's get you something to eat'.

SERIAL MURDERRANCE. Episode 6

(Inception pt2)


The flashlight was almost blinding so I told the officer to please lower it down. He shifted the light from my eyes and focused on the girl in the back seat.
The light rested on her for longer than necessary and I nudged Tade, who was sitting beside me in the front seat as if to tell him that Barbie in her usual radiant 'sexiness' had charmed the officer. Finally, the officer asked who we are.
We replied that we were students of the University and we were going to our hostels after a hard-day work.
The officer snorted. He stepped back a little and inspected the car. He couldn't reconcile the size and luxury of the Bentley with the fact that we were students.
'Officer, please can we go now' Barbie said in her bedroom voice.
'The time is 7:30pm and you know we have to sleep and prepare for tomorrow'. The officer seemed a bit disoriented before answering quickly with a lump in his throat,
'Yes you can'.
At that we thanked the policeman and the car whispered into the night.
        As I drove I breathed a sigh of relief. "That was close, Tade". Tade still recovering from holding his breath in fear did not answer but Barbie did.
'Yes, it was. If it was not for the fact that I directed his eyes to my bust and prevented him from thinking about anything else...you should be thankful I saved your ass'.
"And you should be thankful I've always had yours" I said and she fell silent.
"Tade, stop to dey act like pickin and tell me how many Lapi dey for inside boot" 'Ten' he said, his voice still shaking.
'You know, you guys are fools for carrying that many Laptops around' Barbie said. 'Na today we just buy am' Tade replied her.
Nobody spoke again for some moments during which Kelly Handsome's 'Maga don Pay' could be heard on low volume from the car stereo.
          After a little while I asked Tade
"How about your maga".
'Omo, Tracy dey dull me jare' he replied. 'All the format wey I try she no even dey fall for am. How about your own?'.
"Ah my only Dolly, she even promised yesterday to send like 2K dollars by Saturday".
'OMO, how you do am' Tade asked interestedly.
"Listen and learn" I replied.
"Dolly is a 45 year old mother of two living in LA, she is divorced and all her kids are in college, so she is lonely. She is also very fat so she is insecure and looking desperately for someone to like her. What I did was to cash in on her loneliness and insecurity by promising heaven and hell that I will love her till I die, asking about her kids, and sending her flowers everyday.
And I don't just tell her I love her, I combine some shakespeare with westlife and add my own little spin to write the most beautiful love quotes".
'So how u get her promise to send 2,000 dollars?'
"Ah that one. I'm a business man in Chicago and I've to get to LA to complete a business deal which will fetch me some dough. But I'm short on cash right now so I need her to send me the flight money so I can get to LA and as soon as the deal is closed I will branch at her place, give her the money and spend the week with her".
'Guy, Tracy dey more difficult than that'. "What kind of woman is she?" I asked. 'She dey like Barbie, young and hot and she says my English no good'.
"Yes, we must agree, your English is not good, listen, are you white or black?"
'I'm black'.
"OK send her a picture of Ramsey Nuah or Van Vicker or Majid Michael and pretend that that is you. Oyibo chicks like hot guys and you will see, she won't be complaining about your English again". Tade fell silent a moment as he digested this.
        'Dammy, what about my iphone? Barbie called out to me from the back seat. I had almost forgotten she was there. "Iphone 5 is not yet out, remains some days, how much is it gan self?
'Only 130,000' Barbie answered.
"what the f!" I exclaimed.
'Listen' said Barbie, 'tell me if you are not going to buy it and I will hold my peace'. "I am going to buy it so hold your piss". I saw Tade stealing a look at my angry face and I could see that he has detected some tension between Barbie and I.
But whether he detected it or not, he didn't speak.
In any case, I won't even tolerate him snooping into my affairs.
        We reached the front of my flat at around 8:15 pm. When nobody got down, I said to Barbie, "Get down". 'What!, you are not going to drop me?'
"No, I have some work to do. I will come and see you later tonight".
'I don't expect you to come, you are not exactly a knight'.
With that, she hissed, got down and slammed the door. We packed the laptops from the booth and made our way towards the door of the flat.
There was no power so we have to put on the generator if we are going to do anything tonight.
Tade was silent beside me and I thought it must be because of the weight of seven laptops stacked against his chest. "D'you need a hand?" I asked him.
'I don get hands' he replied.
'Na good brain I need'.
"Fool", I muttered under my breath.
We were in front of the door when Tade asked
'Dammy, wetin dey happen between you and Barbie?'
"Nothing, except that right now there is no love lost between me and her".
'So why una dey fight?'.

Premiership Team Of The Week

Premiership Team Of The Week
 By Busari Isa Olalekan

It was another rip-roaring weekend
in the Premier League and a
number of players stood out
enough to make the Team of the Week. There were some brilliant games on Saturday, but the drama was topped off in style between Manchester United and Southampton.
There were many great performances, it was a tough decision process but we are confident we have the best starting XI from this latest round of fixtures.

1. GK – Vito Mannone, Arsenal


The young Italian’s future at Arsenal
appeared over following a disastrous
performance against Olympiacos in the
Champions league last season, but
injuries have given him his chance and
he is taking it well. Two clean sheets in two games. Mannone made some quality stops at Anfield against Liverpool and his form has meant the Gunners aren’t missing usual number one Wojciech Szczesny.

2. CB – Thomas Vermaelen, Arsenal


The left footed defender had his day against Suarez and Borini. The gunner captain controlled the defence in a manner we've not seen since the days of Sol Campbell.

3. CB – Gareth McAuley, West Brom

The Northern Irishman seems to be
thriving under new manager Steve
Clarke and he was instrumental in the
Baggies continuing their brilliant start
to the season against an in-form
Everton and outstandingly keeping out Marouane Fellaini and Nikica
Jelavic while also grabbing the goal
that sealed the victory with a powerful
header.

4. CB –Vincent Kompany, Manchester
City

The Citizens’ captain was his usual
imperious self in the heart of defence
against QPR on Saturday and made
sure there would be no repeat of the
comeback Mark Hughes’ men made in
the final game last season, which nearly derailed City’s title hopes. The
Londoners grabbed an undeserved
equaliser in the second half, but
Kompany made sure his men did not
throw it away this time.

5. RM – Hatem ben Arfa, Newcastle
United
The Frenchman is a special player whenon song and he most certainly was against Aston Villa on Sunday. The Toon were one down at half-time, but Ben Arfa topped a display full of skill and creative with an outstanding goal.

6. LM – Raheem Sterling, Liverpool

At only 17 years old, Sterling is showing everyone what an exceptional talent they have in their ranks at Anfield. The young winger was easily the most impressive player in red and didn’t deserve to be on the losing side. He caused lots of problems for the Gunners defence and came close to equalising in the first half, seeing his shot hit the post.

7. CM – Santi Cazorla, Arsenal

Arsene Wenger said Arsenal were lucky
to have such a player as the Spaniard
after the game against Liverpool and he was not wrong. Cazorla has hit the
ground running in the Premier League
and was finally rewarded for all the
chances he has been creating so far. His pass set-up Lukas Podolski for the first and the German striker reciprocated for Cazorla to fire under Pepe Reina and seal the three points.

8. CM – Paul Scholes, Manchester
United
Every time the veteran United
midfielder puts in a display like this, Sir Alex Ferguson gets warned about the difficulty he will have replacing him. The Old Trafford side were struggling at Southampton when Scholes was introduced, but this changed soon after he came on. The 37-year-old was his classy self and played like...Paul Scholes

9. CF – Steven Fletcher, Sunderland

It was a successful debut for the
Scottish striker at unbeaten Swansea
and he showed why Martin O’Neill was
prepared to pay Wolves £14million for
him. Two quick goals at the end of the
first half – one lovely finish and one
good predatory play – got Sunderland in the lead and Fletcher proved that he is a player that belongs in the top flight.

10. CF – Robin van Persie, Manchester
United

It doesn’t seem to matter what shirt the Dutchman is wearing, he simply deals in goals. His game-winning hat-trick at Southampton was further proof of his world class ability. He showed good mental strength to put an embarrassing missed 'panenka' penalty behind him to seal the win deep into injury time and the three goals exhibited the different facets to his game - all of which he does outstandingly...And HE SCORES WHEN HE WANT.

11. CF - Carlos Tevez, Manchester City

Well he played like Tevez of old (before the-self-enforced sabbatical).

Memorable mentions to Brad Freidel, Brad Guzman, Moussa Dembele, Morgan Schneiderlin and Andy Carroll who fail to make the cut.

SERIAL MURDERRANCES. Episode 5

 INCEPTION

 As I was getting ready for school that morning, I heard an impatient knock on my door. Seconds later, Tade was standing on d bare floor of my room. Somehow, I had a pretty good idea what he had come to ask.
'Dammy, abeg shey i fit see one H for your hand. I wan reach school and I no get TP'.
"i don't have a dime". I answered quickly not even trying to be compassionate. Knowing Tade, he had probably lost all his dough gambling on Arsenal, the worst kind of club to gamble on.
'How you wan reach skul when you no get a dime?' Tade asked. I was initially surprised by this question. A wise question. You cant help being surprised when you consider that Tade is the questioner.
"I meant I don't  have enough to spare". 'You know, you suppose say you no get a kobo, not dime since we dey for Naija'. "Whatever", I said, a little bit angrily.
Now I'm suspecting that Tade has over-listened to lil wayne the previous night and he is feeling the push to put some smart lines in his conversations. I'm not even sure he understands half of what Lil wayne says.
"Ah Tade, i'm going to school", I announced. "When you are done here, close my door".
'You wan leave me inside your room? I can steal something'.
"No, you can't", i said as i started towards the door. "There is nothing to steal. The only crime you can commit here is suicide. Now knock yourself out''.
       Class that morning was particularly dull. Well, if you are like me all classes will be dull since you will be sitting in d class with an empty stomach and as a result, a wandering mind. But this class was the dullest among 'dulls'.
The contract lecturer, a bloke with a huge gash across his face, was rambling on something about the postal rule laid down in 'Adams v Lindsell'. The postal rule! Sucks to the postal rule! You see even a half-brain like Tade knows that right now in 2012 only batty, old, 'technophobic' guys still use the post to send letter of acceptance. So why do we need this lecture?
        While Lecturer 'Scarface' was babbling about 'Adams v Lindsell', I was thinking more in the line of Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve: seriously, those guys really messed things up. If not for their disobedience, mankind would still be in Eden, blissfully naked, running after giraffes and antelopes. If we ever need education, we will probably have classes under that same apple tree with Father Adam as lecturer and with our course content consisting of something like the proper way to trim flowers. Which is very simple!
Now i'm sitting inside a class in 2012 and I'm super-conscious of the fact that the white shirt of d guy sitting next to me is whiter dan mine which is brownish white: that my old, tattered shoes should not even be in the same building with his: that the lecturers are teaching us concepts so confusing that they themselves get confused(e.g Scarface here): that I have to face impossibly difficult exams at the end of d semester. Sometimes, u've got to agree with this 'boko-guys' when they say Western Education is.....
'Hey Dammy, have you seen the Hunger Games? That film is madly interesting'. Barbie's voice cut through my thought from behind. In my wandering state of my mind i had forgotten that I had the privilege of sitting in front of Barbie. I guess Barbie also found the lecture boring so she was looking for somebody to talk to. Only thing is, Barbie is unlike any other person: whether or not she listened, she is going 2
To get 'A'.
"No, I haven't", I whispered back."You know why? Because I AM the Hunger Game. Hunger is hunting me and i'm its game''.
'Well, sorry 'bout that,I can't help u there. But I can help u wit the other hunger'. "Which other hunger?", I asked.
'The hunger for my.... You know...' She shifted seductively in her chair and gave me the horny girl look. 'I've noticed you staring at me more than its normal recently.
Barbie is known for being a scholar and a tease. Right now, she is turning her tease on, at my expense because i'm getting pretty hot.
"Barbie, are u trying to se-se-du-du-du-ce me", I stammered. I never got d answer to that question for Lecturer 'Scarface' had announced that we are going for meet next class and the class had erupted into chaos as if they had been waiting for him to get the hell out.
         Just then, I saw Ridwan, a guy who can't  seem to get enough of taking pictures, coming towards us. This guy can take the picture of himself 'shitting' and upload it to Instagram. When he reached us, his statement was not surprising. 'Let's take some pics'.
"I've never met anybody who takes as many pics as you do, even among girls", I said to him.
'You know', he replied with a wide grin, 'photographs'
"Are the autographs of d 21st century, yes we know", i completed sarcastically. "So who is the celebrity here".
'You, I guess, now dat u are on regular speaking basis with Barbie'. He said this with a whisper so that Barbie who was busily packing her books couldn't catch it.
'ok Barbie, let's snap'. He announced.
'A picture is more than a thousand words'.
'If a picture is more th an a thousand words, how many words does a movie worth?', Barbie asked. No one answered. Ridwan gave his phone to a guy to snap us and we posed with big, fake smiles for the camera.
        The camera flashed. And the brightness of d flash was extremely strange. The flash traveled towards my field of vision and completely engulfed my being. The light overwhelmed me so much I felt that I had been lighted from within. Suddenly, it went off and all went blank..........


.........Find out what happened to Dammy after the flash........

TREASURE IN YOU

THE TREASURE IN YOU, A GUIDE TO DISCOVERING YOUR TRUE POTENTIALS- BY ADEKEYE IFEDAYO

THERE ARE TWO GREAT DAYS IN A PERSON’S LIFE- THE DAY WE ARE BORN AND THE DAY WE DISCOVER WHY…                                                                                               

-WILLIAM BARCLAY

LET YOURSELF BE SILENTLY DRAWN BY THE STRONGER PULL OF WHAT YOU LOVE  -RUMI

Let me tell you a story…

In 1928, there was this rush for gold in Abidjan, diamonds and precious stones have just been discovered the previous year, everybody wants to go into gold search and so this era was called the GOLD RUSH ERA. Most of the peasant farmers, laborers and even the white men servants and those with white collar jobs such as secretaries and clerks who were considered the elites in the societies left their jobs and went into the GOLD RUSH MADNESS. The irony was that most of them could not recognize these precious stones. In order to get to these stones they teamed up in groups and employed one or two persons who recognized these stones just to guide them in their quest.

In a little village somewhere close to Abidjan, there was a certain farmer (let’s call him MrKalou).MrKalou was a poor farmer who owned just a rocky little piece of land which has been passed down to him from his ancestors; on this piece of land was a small hut where he lives. He could not even marry because he can’t afford the bride price and he could hardly afford three square meals. The land he owns was a rocky and barren landwhich consists of stones and some weird shinning little stones which he usually digs out while tilling the land. He was so unhappy that he cursed the day he was born. Unknown to him, those weird shinning stones are precious stones and the cute little ones diamonds. Can you imagine, MrKalou has so many riches within his reach and he doesn’t even know it #sadmuch. After a lot of thinking, he decided to sell his rocky piece of land and join in the GOLD RUSH BUSINESS with the hope of fortune shining on him.

Sadly, he sold the land to another laborer in the community (let’s call him MrDrogba). MrDrogba, a laborer bought the land just for one reason, THE HUT!!! He needed a place to rest his head because just like MrKalou, he is a church rat. After selling the land, MrKalou embarked on a journey to Abidjan in search of diamonds.

It was not surprising when Mr. Drogba startedleaving on the gold studded land and did not recognize the precious stones too, he was so ignorant that he used raw gold as stones to hold the pot for cooking and will even get mad when it melts away. He will throw them screaming “why did I buy this f**king land, it is so useless sef, ordinary cooking stone I can’t get off it grrrrrrrr”. Fortunately for MrDrogba, his cousin (lets call him uhmmmm Yes! YayaToure) lives in Abidjan. YayaToure came around to greet his uncle on his new acquired property. He nearly fainted when he saw the gold studded paradise. He screamed UNCLE WE ARE RICH!!!.Confused he asked, Yaya! Yaya!! Yaya!!! How many times did I call you? Have you started smoking the cocaine that Tevez do take *lol*. Yaya explained to Drogba that all these stones are gold and the tiny ones diamonds. He could not believe his eyes and ears. He stayed watch on the land till YAYA returned with men to buy the gold and diamonds and poverty vanished. Meanwhile MrKalou got to see what gold was and rushed down to the village crying but it was too late for him. He failed to discover the treasure in him.

While reading E-MYTH why small business don’t work by Michael Gerber, I was almost in tears while reading the chapter on finding your life purpose, the writer asked the readers to picture their funeral, what will you want your eulogy to consist of, what will you want your life achievements to be, what will matter most at the end of your life? He now asked the question is what you are doing RIGHT NOW ensures the success of those things? Let me add this, if what you are doing now is not in connection with what you want your eulogy to carry then padi you are doing something wrong.

We are all born with an inheritance in us planted by God, but a lot of us have the problem of not recognizing those treasures, some of us don’t know we have them #sad. Some of us have not discovered our talents.

I know you all want to be Adele, Linda Ikeji, ,SergyBrin and Larry Page (google guys), Daddy Adeboye, , Bill gau- Face and all. Ask yourself this questions. Where will Adele be if her heart was not broken? Where will Linda Ikeji be if she did not discover blogspot.com? Remember she was a model and she failed, but she did not sit back and cry, she stood up and found another treasure in her, where will Bill gates be if he did not discover Microsoft? Where will thegoogle geeks be without google? I remember ready their autobiography and they said they were geeks in school and people laugh at them, hot coed girls don’t want to be with them but it is no surprise now that they hire these so called high school and college big boys and girls now. When I saw the picture of Larry Page’s girlfriend I was like WTF!!! I am 100% positive that she would never have associated with him in high school lol. Long story short, all these people discovered the treasures in them, Iam positive a lot of them would have failed and gotten discouragements but they stood up to the task and did something new. You all can’t be bankers, lawyers and business tycoons but you can all make it in your own ways, doing what you love doing.

I prepared these 10 ways to help you discover your potentials.

-          STOP WAITING FOR A MIRACLE: - Don’t get me wrong padis, I am a believer of miracles but even an adage says heaven helps those who helps themselves. You can’t just wake up in the morning and start playing PES 2012 or gossiping and  praying to be wealthy and flush in 10 years mehn all you are gonna be is an expert in Pro evolution soccer and a versed expert in latest gists and rumours #justsaying. I was talking to a friend last week and I said to her, Padiwhat is your plan now that you are a graduate and guess what she said? I will serve the nation, marry a rich guy and live happily ever after. I felt so sorry for her. Most of the people out there are like my friend, they are looking for a ready-made recipe to success, and some of them have even made the recipe. A series of steps and ingredients you mix together to make a better life. Am so sorry to tell you these but the recipe are nothing but handwork, prayer and diligence. Ladies no guy wants to marry a dull lady and a liability. Even though you are as beautiful as HELEN of TROY, they want a presentable lady, you may disagree but as for me I do want a career responsible lady as the mother of my kids. Guysno rich girl will see you and marry you because you have a good heart and because you are good looking mehn those ones only happens in Ramsey Noah’s movies. You have to stop looking for that miracle and take your fate into your own hands. God will not bless nothing.You have to place your hand on something for God to bless.

-          NOTICE WHAT CAPTIVATES YOU: -Check the kinda music you listen to, your secret wish list, your passion and all. What do people always ask your help on, what is it that you can do all day without you getting bored, hungry ortired? What is that thing that makes you wanna do more every time. That is your passion. Linda Ikeji is a top blogger in this country; she recently appeared on FORBES MAGAZINE, she finds pleasure in gossiping and bam!!! It got her to forbes and she also makes money. Discover that diamond and the rest will be a story, you won’t even know when the money starts coming in.

-          WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WILL REGRET NOT DOING WHEN YOU GROW OLD :- I will be unhappy if I don’t become a TV personality at my old age, you picture that thing and start making it your passion

-          MAKE A LIST: - Go somewhere private, somewhere calm that you can think. Pick up a pen and a sheet of paper and write out 10 things you have passion for, that you love doing. Those are what you want to do. Work on them and develop yourself. Don’t let anybody tell you you can do nothing.

-          HAVE PLAN A-Z: -I was walking with Shola and Joe recently and we were talking about plans after school, Joe said something that got me thinking for days. He said and I quote “Don’t have a plan B alone, have plan A-Z, all can’t fail unless you are cursed from your village” For days these words gave me a lot of sleepless night. I kept thinking am I doing enough? What if my law career is not that buoyant as I want it to be *God forbid*, what if blah blahblah? Do I have any other things am doing and all. My dear, because you are succeeding in school does not mean you should not have a plan B. Prepare for the worst in all. Have plan A-Z and one of it if not all will be a success. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. It is time to start planning for your future.

-          PRAY AND BE CLOSE TO GOD:- My favorite verse of the bible Jeremiah 29 v 11 said “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you saith the lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” No matter your religion, pray to that which you believe in, divine intervention is needed in realizing your dreams. I wish you success.

That’s it guys….. I hope you find your treasure and maximize it. Well me I want to be successful so my children can sing emiomo baba olowo*in DAVIDO’S VOICE. LOL