The fresher in his first months in
the university is more comfortable than a stalite. Though he might not yet know
his way around the school and his dressing might be a little odd his steps a
little unsure, his gestures a little nervous. He still enjoys life more than a
stalite does. At least in the first few months. You know why?
One, his grade points is comfortably
sitting at zero point. No failure, no passes, no worries.
Two, he has the privilege of being
treated and courted like a newly wedded bride. Or a newly wooed girlfriend.
If he is a
Christian, CLASFON would want him to
be a member. If he is a Muslim NAMLAS
would be all over him. And if he is neither, the secularists would get to him
as long as the Tods are on his feet, his G-Shock and ray bans are real and his
white is whiter than most.
Do I need to
mention that those seeking political office in the next semester would start
forming familiarity or that the
chambers would be scouting for members each touting their chamber as the best.
But the fresher
need not worry about all these ‘sincere’ welcoming treatments because in the
end all will play to his advantage or rather to the advantage of his belly. You
see, these guys will organise freshers
picnic, fresher’s orientation programs, fresher’s welcoming parties and all
of these fresher’s whatnots and the surest thing in all of these programs is
the presence of item seven. As in, the
item seven. At this point, one might point out the laughable
packaging or is it ‘palckaging’ of
freshers. During these programs, when the item
seven have been served, some guys go start to dey form like ‘I don’t want to look hungry’, ‘I don’t want to eat
first’. So then go start dey look
right, look left. Looking for anybody who has managed to start. But since
everybody is watching everybody else, no one would start eating. Meanwhile, the
program continues. Stomachs starts rumbling and concentration is lost. As soon
as a guy (never a girl; girls are more palckaged)
summons the courage to break the ice and sink his teeth into the inviting item,
the whole lot would follow suit. An advice for the freshers; if you find
yourself in one of these programs, please do not hesitate to attack the items
as soon as they are placed in front of you find you. You see, the organisers of
the programs want you to come and that is why they promised item seven because,
seriously most people wont bother to come without that promise. And since
you’ve blessed them with your presence, so you have the right to eat like a
licensed plague.
Three,
the fresher has an idealistic view of school. Because he has not sustained any
scars, emotional, physical or academic he thinks the university would be
paradise, especially when you are in one of the best universities in Nigeria.
And why wouldn’t he think so? After all
he is hard working and his I.Q is off charts. In fact, he would give Einstein a
run for his money, and the issue of falling grades does not just come up in his
mind. His social skills are superb. He can make friends within minutes and have
ladies eating from his palm in no time. In short, he is James Bond.
But hello
fresher, ever heard of little something called social stratification? Now what
is class stratification?
According to
the faculty of law invincible dictionary 2012 edition, class stratification
simply a situation where some guys decide to form a group because of the things
they have and prevent others from joining the group because of the things they
don’t have. Put simply, it means if you are still wearing Toms instead of Tods,
you do not belong to the elite group. Put more simply, it means if your
blackberry is not Bold5/6 or you do not own an Iphone4/5, you do not belong to
the group. If you are a still using Nokia, then don’t even think about it. Put
very simply, it means if you are not swaggisly
Burna Boy who likes to fall off the stage, sorry, party, then you do not belong
to the group. Forget about academic prowess, it wont get you inside this group
and group and it wont get the girl. Your academics cant save you, life starts
where your grade point ends.
After having said all of these however,
kudos must be given to our fresher ladies. They’ve packaged themselves so well
that one of my guys came to me one day and said “chai, these fresh babes would be the death of me
o”, to which I replied “you know what, I will be glad to come to your funeral”.
I luv ds blog,wish we had dt while in skul,kip up d gud work,an advice tho,one thng abt faculty of law is combining all nd still b ontop,its not easy I must say but I kinda notice u do well talkin 2 evry1 nd just avin one or 2 good friends dan joining a group,u can be handsome or beautiful,possess all dose material thngs,be ok wth a religion nd still av d brain,trust me I know wat am saying,all u need is focus,plan nd tyming,just balance it up nd careless abt dose prying eyes.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great piece I must confess. A nice comeback! Still waiting on the other updates! Keep it up!
ReplyDelete