The Tales Of A Madarikan Boy

  Hey my Fifle (I have been rolling with so many Hausas), how body?..
Muslim brothers and sisters, hope the fasting aint shaking us too much (Jo-Spazm, catch ur sub jejeli o).. 
Me nitemi, I have been on the serious quest on finding complete solutions to our beloved country's probs! :D.. I'm happy I dint have to go too far before I found this in the One and only "Madarikan Boy's" blog yoh!! (Woot! Woot!!...haha).. I was touched when I saw this *tears*! It gives just the best solutions to our wahalas!
I promise, this would change your lives!!! If it doesn't,then you need deliverance.. :p..
Shekirout yoh!

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The Tales of a Madarikan Boy

The weird twisted version of the truth like never seen before.

500 ways to improve Nigeria. hahahaha!!!

Waddup Ninjas!  I know, I know, Missed you too! Hope yall like the remodelling i did with the blog, feeling all blog-savvy at the moment,dont crush the feeling with your badbelle! And yes that is Asa wrapped up in a Nigerian Flag (talk about being stoned right,i know!). So a lot has happened in a while,  Death of the Ghanian president Attah Mills (May his Soul R.I.P),  EFCC finally decides to 'prosecute' the Subsidy scandal 'suspects' *yimu toh quality*, release of the highly anticipated and yet highly disappointing O.B.O by former Davido now David Adeleke (who has given up his 'music career' to finally go to school), and most importantly the eviction of Goldie from the BBA House. I have to say that last one was a relief and it should have come sooner. Now we can watch BBA and go to bed without having nightmares. BB doesnt have to censor the contestants faces and my television doesn't up and face the wall anymore when BBA is on now that she has been evicted. #DasAll. But that babe can fall hand choi!Considering all thats happened around, there has been nothing of major contribution to the  growth of the country  #StaleGist. Nothing on Broda Ebeles end, tho i did hear that BRF arrested a colonel for taking the BRT lane, Babaniyen!.  With the growth of Nigeria taking a very long vac, great minds like mine *wide grin* have come up with solutions to get her back into full gear, you could say a defibrillator (na Greys Anatomy cause am o). Well i say a kick in the ass and about time too. So here goes nothing;


How to Improve  Nigeria.(Looks like something youd like to Google, i know!)



1) The National Football team known as the Super Eagles should be dissolved with immediate effect and all disposal proceeds should be invested in Agege ìsalę Rangers. What do you mean you never heard of 'em??!! Well never heard of 'em too but rumour has it they are powered by Agege bread,counts fr something right.

2)Passing into law the flogging of Government officials bare buttocks  who have been confirmed or rumoured to be involved in corrupt practices on Live TV (I know say na then NTA go dey show 2weeks old episode of superstory,mschew!). Cattlerearers should be appointed as the Executioners. 

3)Enforcing an age restriction between 30-55 to hold a Governmental post. Kindly refer to suggestion No. 2 incase of forged birth certificates (na to use their yansh as billboard remain,lol!).

4)Every living thing under the Alias Nigerian Police Force should be sacked with immediate effect. A letter of appointment assigning Jack Bauer as the new Inspector General of The NPF should be presented. (I know say even if na act e go act,boko haram go fear na!)

4)Nollywood movies must from now on be rated 'D.T.T.I.Q' (Detrimental to the I.Q).

5)PHCN....hmmmmnnnnnn.....na babalawo get those ones o. Hand them over to every single babalawo, Imam and Pastor in Nigeria for effective prayers. Infact there should be a Vigil themed: War against spiritual epileptic power supply!! (I can just imagine what the poster would look like!)

6)The Nigerian Communication Commission should enforce a free tariff policy on all Telecom Operators. It should be enforced when Adenuga is taking a long shit in the toilet. Failure to comply attracts a life imprisonment sentence with Vic-o as a cell mate.

7)The Sect known as Boko Haram should be given free PS3s and Xbox consoles with free Call of Duty MW3, Fifa 2012 and internet facilities to play online seeing as they get off on explosions and Arsenal!

8)Enforcing a minimum of  two years sentence with CONFAM hard labor for boys caught in front of laptops,desktops,Ipads and turtle at cybercafes wearing t-shirts that say  'my money grows like grass', and 'YMCMB'. That tin dey vexx me ehn! Infact 4 yrs sef!

9)Oil,Cocoa,Boli,Epa and Imbecile presidents are natural resources we have been blessed with and not music. Na so so knickers and singlet dem go they wear up and down!

10)To our 'able' women kindly refrain from exhibiting your cleavage to the world it only instigates Boko Haram employees in believing that 144 of that is part of the severance package.

11)Finally and most importantly a certain artist that goes by the name Ice prince Zamani must be made to swear an oath of silence.

                                             Thank You.

You werent expecting me to come up with 500 were you?? I laugh!
They thought Gadaffi was mental,vote me in as your President and see. Who born America well make dem talk??!! (JK!). With all these measures put in place and being adhered to strictly the growth of Nigeria will be deported back and left with no choice but to get busy.
Thats all folks. God bless boli! God bless Madarikan! God bless Nigeria!.
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Oya tell me our problems have not been solved so u can chop slap.. :p..
By the way, if u like this, u can hook up with the Madarikan Boy on his blog ------» http://tales-of-a-madarikan-boy.blogspot.com/  .. Till then, peace out!

SERIAL MURDERRANCES. Episode 1

Serial Murderrances (conversations with myself PT1)


        Hello, beautiful people! What's up? Hope we are good?
And of course, Ramadan Kareem to my muslim brothers and sisters!!!!.
So I heard we've got a new Vice Chancellor now. Hmmmmmm.. 'Oshey'! And we got 150 views in our last post(introduction). :O *eyes popping like segun arinze's on a normal day* woooow!!! *faints* Thank u all. :D.. We won't "fall your hand"!
        On to today's post.... *grabs mic* This is the first episode of the series (Serial Muderrances) by Gbenga 'Adonis' Ogundoye.. This episode is titled "Conversations with myself PT1"

ENJOY:

         I pushed the door open and stepped into my room feeling the chill of the bare floor on my feet. I instinctively reached for the switch, drawing my hand back as I realized there is no power, as usual. This is Nigeria, 2012. The lantern was in a corner. I groped through the darkness for it. The match sat beside it. It took two strikes for the tip of the match-stick to catch fire. The light in the lantern transformed from a weak bluish glow into strong red light and my room came into view.
A small room with a bare floor and no chairs, containing nothing interesting except for the incredibly small foam lying down on the cold floor. That is my bed. On the bed was a clutter of textbooks: Sagay's law of contract, Malemi's constitutional law in Nigeria, Asein's legal system in Nigeria all of which are voluminous numbering no less than 500 pages.
I stood with arms akimbo and regard the textbooks with an amused expression while voices talk in my head. The mocking voice said "you know you are really deceiving yourself thinking u have to get your head into these kinds of textbooks for five years before you can make it". The other voice said "can u tell me of a faster, easier way?". "Well", the mocking voice said, "I don't  know, but consider Justin bieber, he is only eighteen and he is worth 105 million dollars while u grovel here with nothing, and your age will tomorrow be......" "Another word from you and I will have you killed" said the second voice menacingly. "Kill me? You too dey watch film" laughed the mocking voice. Anyways, I go talk even if you no go hear. Look, find some solutions to your problems before your time runs out. Kids less than your age are controlling millions of dollars while you are still controlling units of naira, at your age! The second voice wasted no time in replying,"need I remind you that we are in Nigeria? How many kids my age have lots of money in Naija?" "Well I know two for certain", answered the mocking voice,"Wizkid and Davido". The second voice took a little time before speaking, "so do you want me to become like Wizkid? And not a respected lawyer? See, people like Wizkid do not have prestige in the higher society"... "But they have money" interjected the mocking voice. "Lawyers have prestige and they have......." the second voice began to say. "Please don't  say lawyers have money" interrupted the mocking voice, "because last time I checked, there are thousands of charge and bail lawyers out there, praying in their hole-in-the-wall offices for briefs that are not forthcoming. Hardly making enough money to justify the huge amounts spent on their legal education. That Justin Bieber kid can buy them ten times over", the mocking voice was rising with each word. "So do u suggest I start singing? "Yes". "But I don't have talent for singing". "Most of the dunces in the Nigeria music scene do not have talent either and they are making cool dough" .........................



Hmmmmm, folks,nice in it? But I'm sorry we can't go further than this,this week! So should tune in next week to the same blog, same time. *winks* ............

And please, if you hate anything about this blog, don't keep your emotions bottled up. Feel free to walk up to 'Jo-Spazm' and dash him a dirty slap. *evil grins*. And that's because he is my right hand man and also my special adviser on 'blogging' issue. Thanks for the slaps in advance..:D.. Till then,peace out!.......

NB: we understand that several people were unable to drop comments on our last upload. sorry about that.
To drop your comments, all you gotta do is to comment as "anonymous" and include your name in the comment if u wish. Also, its easier to drop comments while using OperaMini.
For your stories,gists,write-ups,comments etc., here's the mail addy to send them to : lssblog2012@gmail.com. You can also follow us @LegallySocial_ . Thank you.

INTRODUCTION

You fam! What's really good? What's Gwanin?? My legal Juggernauts (u dry feel d Guramah AbiI?no lie jo!*winks*) how are we?.
Yeah, yeah, bla bla bla!!! At last,its here. Yeah, I'm definitely talking about the much anticipated LSS Social blog. The first of its kind in the whole of Unilorin.Joh oh! *put on REAL ray bans* *shines snow white teeth* .
Jo-Spazm : (˘̯˘ )(yimu)its green joh! *HL*
Me : see ur life,Hater oshi. /:)  
As I was "Talking go jere" before the moronic interruption...
Firstly,I'd like to apologize for the delay...I have been rather busy is other important causes. U know? Like, trying to know why Frank decided to "Frank ocean" world *wipes tears* and why Davido has stopped aging. Like seriously? He is still 19? For how long? :/ .. Well, these questions have not yet been answered by the gods :(.. I'm Still waiting.
So  *in weezy's voice*, "sorry for the wait!!!" I hope I'm forgiven..¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯. Well, Una no go wan tey na. I'm sure I have been forgiven.(By force by fire) :D.
And secondly,I'd like to make a s/o the new administrative excos for giving us the opportunity to do this.
Before I begin,I'll like to point it out that this is not a write-up per-say(so u might like to calm ur eyebrows down! :D) but rather a little piece to intimate us with what this blog is about and its features...........
      The main aim of this blog is to keep us updated with social issues in the faculty,the school and of course the world at large. So for peeps who be thinking the work of the social committee is only during events like Trad nite,Picnics and dinner, this social regime is out to counter that public belief.. We gonna be here with u from this holiday period all through the end of the session... so *in W4's voice* "ON TO THE NEXT ONE!!!!"
Actually, For now, we have certain items lined up for your enjoyment and ima let u into them ASAP.
1).'Serial Murderrances': its exclusive from our learned bruv , ADONIS. Its a series of story about a young undergraduate of law facing serious financial problems and how he gets tempted to get involved with certain immoral things which however will get him money... What happens? Is he gonna yield to these temptation? You gotta stay posted to know this.... It promises to be great!!! . Trust me, I can't wait ^_^ :D
2).Up,close and personal : Ehn ehn, yessoo!! This is another Dope one!. Another delicious one you  definitely don't wanna miss yoh.. Its gonna feature interviews with figures from within and outside the faculty. Student Office holders,Artistes etc. Also gonna feature interviews with Known figures,celebs and the likes(Nationwide). However,its gonna be in a more informal way.. Jes Washout!!!.
3) Dope to the core: yes? Can I help u? Why all the raised eyebrows? Its not "dope" like Coke oh!.lol. This is all about entertainment fam!! Keeping u updated with what's happening in the entertainment industries at every level. Music,movies,arts .... Just name it mate! It would also give opportunity to our upcoming acts in the faculty to showcase what they've got to the world. ...............
Hmm... I guess that's all for now. Though I'm tired of repeating the same thing, I have no choice but to tell ya'll again that its gonna be really MADT and u don't wanna miss out on it. So like VicO would say "don't forget to come here and catch ur cool fun" :D..

NB: This blog is opened to comments ,opinion and suggestions. Feel free to holla at me or the social director at any time. Thanks for your time. See you soon!.
Follow us @YemzDgogeta_YMC , @popson2k3!!!