Hey my Fifle (I have been rolling with so many Hausas), how body?..
Muslim brothers and sisters, hope the fasting aint shaking us too much (Jo-Spazm, catch ur sub jejeli o)..
nitemi, I have been on the serious quest on finding complete solutions
to our beloved country's probs! :D.. I'm happy I dint have to go too far
before I found this in the One and only "Madarikan Boy's" blog yoh!!
(Woot! Woot!!...haha).. I was touched when I saw this *tears*! It gives
just the best solutions to our wahalas!
I promise, this would change your lives!!! If it doesn't,then you need deliverance.. :p..
The Tales of a Madarikan Boy
The weird twisted version of the truth like never seen before.
500 ways to improve Nigeria. hahahaha!!!
Ninjas! I know, I know, Missed you too! Hope yall like the remodelling
i did with the blog, feeling all blog-savvy at the moment,dont crush
the feeling with your badbelle! And yes that is Asa wrapped up in a
Nigerian Flag (talk about being stoned right,i know!). So a lot has
happened in a while, Death of the Ghanian president Attah Mills (May
his Soul R.I.P), EFCC finally decides to 'prosecute' the Subsidy
scandal 'suspects' *yimu toh quality*, release of the highly anticipated
and yet highly disappointing O.B.O by former Davido now David
Adeleke (who has given up his 'music career' to finally go to school),
and most importantly the eviction of Goldie from the BBA House. I have
to say that last one was a relief and it should have come sooner. Now we
can watch BBA and go to bed without having nightmares. BB doesnt have
to censor the contestants faces and my television doesn't up and face
the wall anymore when BBA is on now that she has been evicted. #DasAll.
But that babe can fall hand choi!Considering all thats happened around,
there has been nothing of major contribution to the growth of the
country #StaleGist. Nothing on Broda Ebeles end, tho i did hear that
BRF arrested a colonel for taking the BRT lane, Babaniyen!. With
the growth of Nigeria taking a very long vac, great minds like mine
*wide grin* have come up with solutions to get her back into full
gear, you could say a defibrillator (na Greys Anatomy cause am o). Well i
say a kick in the ass and about time too. So here goes nothing;
How to Improve Nigeria.(Looks like something youd like to Google, i know!)
The National Football team known as the Super Eagles should be
dissolved with immediate effect and all disposal proceeds should
be invested in Agege ìsalę Rangers. What do you mean you never heard of
'em??!! Well never heard of 'em too but rumour has it they are powered
by Agege bread,counts fr something right.
2)Passing into law the
flogging of Government officials bare buttocks who have been confirmed
or rumoured to be involved in corrupt practices on Live TV (I know say
na then NTA go dey show 2weeks old episode of superstory,mschew!).
Cattlerearers should be appointed as the Executioners.
an age restriction between 30-55 to hold a Governmental post. Kindly
refer to suggestion No. 2 incase of forged birth certificates (na to use
their yansh as billboard remain,lol!).
4)Every living thing
under the Alias Nigerian Police Force should be sacked with immediate
effect. A letter of appointment assigning Jack Bauer as the new
Inspector General of The NPF should be presented. (I know say even if na
act e go act,boko haram go fear na!)
4)Nollywood movies must from now on be rated 'D.T.T.I.Q' (Detrimental to the I.Q).
babalawo get those ones o. Hand them over to every single babalawo,
Imam and Pastor in Nigeria for effective prayers. Infact there should be
a Vigil themed: War against spiritual epileptic power supply!! (I can
just imagine what the poster would look like!)
Communication Commission should enforce a free tariff policy on all
Telecom Operators. It should be enforced when Adenuga is taking a long
shit in the toilet. Failure to comply attracts a life imprisonment
sentence with Vic-o as a cell mate.
7)The Sect known as Boko
Haram should be given free PS3s and Xbox consoles with free Call of Duty
MW3, Fifa 2012 and internet facilities to play online seeing as they
get off on explosions and Arsenal!
8)Enforcing a minimum of two
years sentence with CONFAM hard labor for boys caught in front of
laptops,desktops,Ipads and turtle at cybercafes wearing t-shirts that
say 'my money grows like grass', and 'YMCMB'. That tin dey vexx me ehn!
Infact 4 yrs sef!
9)Oil,Cocoa,Boli,Epa and Imbecile
presidents are natural resources we have been blessed with and not
music. Na so so knickers and singlet dem go they wear up and down!
10)To our 'able'
women kindly refrain from exhibiting your cleavage to the world it only
instigates Boko Haram employees in believing that 144 of that is part
of the severance package.
11)Finally and most importantly
a certain artist that goes by the name Ice prince Zamani must be made
to swear an oath of silence.
You werent expecting me to come up with 500 were you?? I laugh!
thought Gadaffi was mental,vote me in as your President and see. Who
born America well make dem talk??!! (JK!). With all these measures put
in place and being adhered to strictly the growth of Nigeria will be
deported back and left with no choice but to get busy.
Thats all folks. God bless boli! God bless Madarikan! God bless Nigeria!.
Oya tell me our problems have not been solved so u can chop slap.. :p..
By the way, if u like this, u can hook up with the Madarikan Boy on his blog ------» http://tales-of-a-madarikan-boy.blogspot.com/ .. Till then, peace out!