the size of my fist, or so it looked
Like the weight of a piece of rock, or so it felt
Like the flash of lightening followed by a rumble of thunder
The weight of the rock the size of my fist tore through me.
I cried…. Or so I thought.
I couldn’t think, nor move
Blind as a bat and numb as ice
I felt it once then again and again and again
And it just wouldn’t stop
I begged and begged
But all to no avail
In my mind, I went to a dark place
And once I was there, I couldn’t go back.
In that dark place, all there was as me and darkness, it was my companion, my comfort, my life and soul…. My everything!!
I was in it and it was in me..
At first, it enveloped me, engulfed me. I was going to drown in the darkness, all alone with no one to hold. But then the darkness grew into me, and I in to it. We became one and the same person.
Its reason for being there was anger, rage and sadness
And those were my reasons too.
In that instant I made a connection with the darkness in my soul, I knew I would not remain the same person ever again. And so with all my might I fought and pushed and shoved.
It was almost like I wasn’t myself for some seconds, but I really wasn’t myself. I let the darkness awake!!! And with its wake came extra-ordinary power.
I liked that strength
That power that took over me and I wasn’t going to let it go, not then not ever.
It seemed an eternity
A whole lifetime of numbing pain just searing though me
I couldn’t move my legs….
Like lead they felt, or so I thought
Slowly, like snails they moved or so I thought
At the pace of a snail and the heaviness of lead
Gently but quickly, slowly but hastily
It's done already and there's nothing I can do to take it back,
But that don’t mean I can't fight
That don't mean I should stop hoping
That don’t mean I should live with the fear of the past
I am strong now!!
I have that darkness awake in me,
Like the tailed beasts of the leaf and sand clans,
I am the jinchuriki of this darkness.
It won't take over me nor I over it
But like the coursing of a river, we flow together.
Forget the sweet words,
Forget the rhymes,
This is nought but the feelings of one who has been robbed.
Forget the smiles,
They are all a lie.
But never forget the past,
For it is who you are.
By Tinu H.K