"You really are a great fool" I hissed angrily.
"Now where are the damn keys!?"
Immediately we entered I told Tade to put on the generator. When the power had come, we settled down to business, each engrossed in his laptop. I logged on to plentyoffish. I saw a woman who might make an easy target.
Alicia Warkins,34 ,no kid and living alone. "Hello Alicia, my name is Cody Smith". I try some small talk like who does she prefer between Obama and Romney, what is the weather in her city, blah, blah, blah. Now to the point. What is her source of income? She said she is an heiress of some small-town newspaper fortune. Wow, now that's what I call plenty of fish.
I'm a US diplomatic officer currently working in Helsinki, Finland. The city's prison is crawling with Americans so I was assigned to negotiate their release and transfer to the States with the prison authorities. These Finnish guys demand some dough as a fine for the freedom of these jailed Americans. Therefore the US embassy would welcome private dona- no, no, no, lemme stop there.
Don't want to ask for money right away lest she think I'm a 'scammer'.
Now onto more personal matters.
Doesn't she have a boyfriend?
No, she doesn't have right now. She has dated some guys before but they all turned out to be jerks. Eeya! But don't worry about me, I won't be a jerk. In fact, I've never been a jerk.
Why doesn't she have kids? She doesn't want to have kids wit just any bloke. She wants to have kids wit a special guy, someone who makes bell ring in her head, someone who makes butterflies flutter in her stomach, someone who will sweep her off her feet.
Look no further, Lady, I am the one. I've been looking for someone like you all my life. It's not everyday you meet someone who so understands you completely you feel you've known each other for a long time. And if you try me, you won't regret me.
She sent me a picture of herself and I complimented her on her looks even though she was bony thing and had like one thousand freckles on her face.
I sent her a 'picture of myself'- which was in fact an old picture of Brad Pitt's edited and 'photoshopped' to remove all resemblance(the jaws for example) but still l leaving all the good looks.
That picture was my standard picture.
Just then, I heard a very loud noise above the din of the generator and the clicking of the keys on our laptops. I looked at Tade who was smiling down to his Laptop. He did not seem to hear. Before I shifted my eyes back to the laptop, I heard the noise again. The noise was louder now and Tade too was gaping into the distance. The noise sounded like someone was banging the door. We looked at each other. Nobody calls at our place at all much less this time of the night. The next loud bang roused us from our surprise and I called out
"Who the hell is that?"
'Good evening' a strong voice returned. 'This is the police. We have a warrant to search your premises'.
Having heard that Tade with all the silence his unco-ordinated body could muster, quickly packed the laptops and climbed the desk to put it in a designated place in d ceiling.
"A warrant to search this premises by 9pm? Officer, I don't think you know your law".
'Spare me the lecture on d proper time to serve a warrant', the officer shouted. 'This is a special case and either you open this door or I break it down. In any case I'm entering'.
The officer was sounding very serious. This is definitely not a joke or a prank call. Beside me, Tade was shaking like crazy. I have to be strong for this wimp. "Go pack the other laptops and throw them over the fence", I whispered. As Tade was about to go, the officer's voice came again 'In case you don't know, this building is surrounded. You have no choice but to OPEN THIS DOOR!'
We are now in a fix. I was now shaking my self, at my wit's end. The game look to be coming to an end.
'He won't wake' a voice said. I thought it was the officer who spoke but the voice was too close to my head to be the officer's.
'He won't wake', the voice said again, now a little frantic, a little panicky.
"Did you hear that?" I asked Tad.
'What? Yes I hear it. The officer dey shout make we open the door, shey you no dey hear am?, as loud as e be'.
"No, no," I whispered back. "The voice, that voice". 'Which voice?' Tade asked, a look of confusion on his face.
'OPEN THIS DOOR!'.
'He won't wake' the voice in my head was now filled with fear and with dread, a voice of someone afraid of what looks like inevitability.
Somehow, the voice sound like Barbie's. 'STAND BACK!, I'M BREAKING THIS DOOR!'
'O my god, he won't wake, Help! BRING WATER!' I saw the door buckled and crash. But I didn't see what I expected to find. I expected men in black uniforms with raised guns and heavy boots. Instead I saw a flood, a flood of water, water which was snow-white because of it's astonishing quantity, advancing towards me.
Before I could run, the water buried me and all went blank. I awoke on the floor of the corridoor, drenched in water, gasping for breath in Barbie's arms. I saw a shade of people peering down at me but I couldn't yet make out any of their faces. At last I made out Ridwan's thoroughly frightened face. I saw who had taken the picture, the phone was still in his hands. 'Thank God', they breathed collectively. 'You got us real scared'.
"How long was I out?" I drawled.
'About three minutes'. "What?" I exclaimed. It seems to me that I was out for three hours.
'We had to bring water from the buckets in the toilets to rouse you', somebody was saying. 'Took about five buckets'. 'C'mon' Barbie said. 'You sure need food, let's get you something to eat'.
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