Saturday, 25 August 2012


Serial Murrderances  'THE TERRORIST(CLASSROOM DRAMA)'pt2

'Their so-called demand for an Islamic state is unconstitutional. Nigeria is a secular state according to Section 10 of the 1999 constitution' "Sit your ass down!" the doctor ordered. Barbie, who had plenty of it, obediently sat. Very embarrassed.
I was surprised. The girl was of course right but it seems the doctor was in no mood for that. I was starting to suspect that the doctor had more screws loose in his head than I previously thought. But... Dr Mohammed insult Barbie? Unbelievable!
     The session of silence returned, and continued. A few people were shifting uncomfortably in their seats. Some were not moving so much as a muscle. Dr Mohammed had gone still as a stone sculpture and was gazing thru his misted glass into the distance. I could bet my CGPA he wasn't looking at anything in particular. Still, the silence continued

"AAAH, DJ ZEEZ, MA YIEN NI BANGA, MA YIEN NI BANGA!". The wailing ringtone of a china phone cut through the silence and shattered it. The class was startled. Dr Mohammed was jolted out of his reverie.
Samuel, a boy who could have a major case of spasm if he were to request a pen from a girl, could not seem to grasp the idea that the wailing phone was ringing around him.
When he saw Dr Mohammed advancing towards, he finally got the idea and in panic rummaged thru his bag for the wailing 'bastard': 'EVERYBODY SAY PISHAUN, PISHAUN, PISHAUN, SKUKI! "The phone is in ur trousers, u fool" bellowed Dr Mohammed, still advancing towards him. Samuel dipped his now shaking hands in his pocket and came up with the crap. Dr Mohammed was now in front of him. "Young man, stand up". Samuel stood. He was shaking so badly that his knees looked as if they would give way under him at any minute. "What did I say about phones in class". 'No sir', said Samuel in a quavering voice. "FOOL! I SAID WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PHONES IN CLASS". 'You said to always put it in silence' Samuel managed to say. "And what is the meaning of all this racket". 'It's not a racket sir, it's a phone', Samuel replied foolishly. "Stupid ignoramus, I didn't mean a tennis racket, I meant the noise". "Listen" Dr Mohammed said menacingly, "if u don't shut that damn thing off, you 'll find yourself in a round box". Samuel was shaking so badly his fingers couldn't find the red button. The phone continued to declare skuki's intention to blast a banger on someone. Under the angry stare and the influence of his own uncontrollable fingers, Samuel dropped the phone and its part scattered everywhere. The phone, being metal, gave a sound similar to slamming china on tiles. "Collect the pieces and bring it to my office. You can say goodbye to it till the end of the semester".
       Just then, Dr mohammed became aware that the whole class was making a gesture to someone who had just entered the glass to get out. Dr Mohammed turned and rounded on the intruder. "Yes what I can I do for you". 'Nothing', replied the intruder. 'I only need ur permission to do something'.
A witty statement, typical of him. The intruder, Kevin Ibru was a 400L student aspiring for the LSS presidency and who thought himself charming. I would have found him charming if not for his habit of slipping irrelevant passages of Shakespeare into his campaign speeches. People didn't notice this because the chicks, blinded by the free-flowing manner of d words from his mouth and his good looks, would have been screaming. I also knew all of his campaign speeches contain nothing but who I am I to talk. "Yes, what did you want to do", the doctor asked Kevin, his voice stronger than normal. Kevin replied wit what he thought was a winning smile. 'I am going for the post of d Lss president and I want to make a speech'. "And what concrete plan do you have for the lss?".
Kevin was taken aback by this but he managed to recover himself. 'Ah...well...ah, I plan to beautify dat vacant square in front of d faculty.' "And?"
Kevin, who was accustomed to saying nothing but trash in his speeches, could not find anything more to say. He shifted uneasily on his feet and his hand traveled to the side of his forehead. "You mean your plan for the student body does not extend beyond d beautification of the faculty?" 'No sir...we ha... I have... "Shut your trap" the doctor said vehemently. "This is how you start. This is how leadership mediocrity starts. You start with incompetence, You rise with incompetence, and when you get to public positions you compound problems with your incompetence. The failure of people like you almost got my family killed".
      With that, the doctor stormed out of the classroom. The harassed Kevin followed suit almost immediately. I suspected he was in such a hurry to leave the class because he was ashamed to meet our eyes. I would have laughed out loud if not for the confusion I felt at Dr Mohammed's last statement.
"The failure of people like you almost got my family killed" What is the deal? Instead of the sighs of relief I expected to find, I found confusion on the faces of my classmates, much like mine..


  1. Excellent picturesque...9ce one

  2. daramola peter dhramns8 September 2012 at 09:41

    Damn, dat doctor was really angry